Winter Expected To Be Coldest On Record

New New York, NY - Thanks to global cooling brought about by the evil, anti-business actions of the African-Arabian-Australian-Canadian-Chinese- European-Indian-Mexican-Russian-South American Union (AAACCEIMRSAU), temperatures this coming winter in the Northeast regions of the Empire may drop as low as 65 degrees, resulting in a severe reduction in the winter production of crops such as oranges and avocados. Upper New York will be particularly hard hit as that is where temperatures are expected to drop the most.

The AAACCEIMRSAU has repeatedly signed agreements with the Empire to increase the production of greenhouse gases in order to maintain warm temperatures on Earth, but after every agreement, the AAACCEIMRSAU has subversively sought to dilute and undermine the agreement.

Empire business leaders are also furious at what they see as a deliberate attempt by the AAACCEIMRSAU to steal money from Empire businesses by enacting expensive regulations to protect the environment. Crowned Prince Gates, head of the business advocacy group Sensible Trade and Expedient Administration of Law (STEAL) claims that, if enacted, the AAACCEIMRSAU proposals would “devour” nearly 1% of the profits generated by member businesses like Microsoft-IBM-Oracle-Sun-Apple-Dell. That's money that could be used for better purposes, such as Empire security.

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