Emperor Considering Outlawing Science

New Topeka, KS - Citing endless controversies caused by “too much knowledge,” Emperor Bush VI this week asked his staff to investigate the feasibility of outlawing science.

Speaking this morning before a huge audience representing a broad cross section of the citizenry, the Emperor, smiling enigmatically, said, “Frankly, too much knowledge hurts my head.” Then, giving his bible a firm thump, the Emperor declared, “Pretty much all we need to know is right in here.” The audience, comprised of carefully selected religious leaders who had signed a declaration of allegiance to their Emperor, gave the Emperor a standing ovation, creating a raucous sound by thumping their own bibles loudly as a form of flattering mimicry.

The Emperor had originally asked his aides to study the feasibility of going as far as outlawing the laws of physics, but the aides informed the Emperor that it might not be feasible at this time.

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