PureThought Program Nearing Completion

New Stepford, CT - The PureThought program, the final solution to the problem of social non-conformity, is nearing completion. According to Princess Stewart, head of the Public Regency Of Beneficial Enlightenment (PROBE; formerly the Imperial Department of Health), approximately 95% of the Empire’s citizens have been processed by the program. PureThought will ensure that only clean thoughts permeate the minds of citizens while instilling in them good taste and craftiness.

PureThought is a combination of education and medication. Through a variety of incentives and inducements, citizens are encouraged to report to re-education resorts, where they are enlightened on the new ways of thinking and behaving in the Empire. In order to help citizens remain on the path to enlightenment, tiny capsules are implanted under their skin at the back of their neck. These capsules also contain a radio transmitter and receiver that is in constant contact with computers at PROBE. If these computers detect that a citizen has inadvertently traveled into a restricted zone, such as a food distribution facility when it’s not their proper food distribution day, the computers can notify the Imperial Police to help the citizen back to safety. Or if the computers at PROBE detect mildly impure thoughts in a citizen, such as their being titillated by a member of the opposite sex other than their spouse, the computers can command the subcutaneous capsule to administer a dose of conformance-inducing medication, thus helping the citizen avoid committing a regrettable thought violation.

The PureThought program is a boon to the beleaguered pharmaceutical industry, which has experienced one setback after another. Between the declining population and standard of living within the Empire, and ever increasing advertising costs, the pharmaceutical industry has had difficulty selling its products of late. As the supplier of the conformance-inducing medication, which is based on the once popular drug, Prozac, the pharmaceutical industry could bounce back. While technically a monopoly, the pharmaceutical industry did compete vigorously for the contract to supply the conformance-inducing medication, offering PROBE a generous 1% discount for the first year, after which prices will automatically rise 20% per year.

A tiny percentage of the population - less than 5% - is resistant to PureThought. These people, like non-Christians, homosexuals, criminals, mental deficients, and people of color who refuse to “act white,” must unfortunately be released into the barbarian hinterlands, outside the Walls of Safety.

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