New San Francisco, CA - For the second time in as many months, terrorists operating in the barbarian hinterlands outside the Walls of Safety have unleashed a virus on the Imperial Internet2. These virus attacks have increased in frequency and sophistication, leading some in the Imperial Administration to speculate that they are orchestrated by highly educated former citizens of the Empire who were banished to the barbarian hinterlands for having impure thoughts.
There is also speculation that these terrorists have been aided by scientists in the evil AAACCEIMRSAU.
There is no word yet on when the Internet2 might be up and running again, but according to Crowned Prince Gates, head of the business advocacy group Sensible Trade and Expedient Administration of Law (STEAL), which operates the Internet2, “We are in the process of upgrading the Internet2 with wizards that will protect it from these types of attacks in the future. Once this upgrade is complete, computer users will merely have to download Service Pack 47 to their computers to take advantage of these new protections. It is recommended that users wishing to download the service pack use someone else’s computer because until the service pack is installed, the user’s computer will be vulnerable to virus attacks.”
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