New San Francisco, CA - Emperor Bush VI, astutely recognizing an irreconcilable conflict, today moved swiftly to ban a new prenatal test for so-called “gay genes.” Several medical centers around the Empire recently began offering this test to expecting mothers who wanted to know if their unborn child would be homosexual or heterosexual. The test, popularly called the GAy Gene (GAG) Test, looks for several specific gene patterns and produces a score from -10 to +10 indicating the unborn child's straightness. Homosexuals are zeros or worse.
What the medical community failed to consider before offering this test was that it would create an irreconcilable dilemma for mothers: to have a homosexual child, an abomination under God; or to abort the child, illegal and a cardinal sin.
The Emperor solved the problem by making the GAG Test illegal. Children who exhibit homosexual tendencies after birth will continue to be sent to re-education resorts. If re-education fails to suppress their lascivious lust for members of the same sex, the Empire can still turn to medication or banishment as it has traditionally done.
Said the Emperor during the signing ceremony, “This law will reunite society, which is being torn apart by this unwelcome knowledge. The holistic foundations of the Empire must be preserved.”
Religious leaders all over the Empire breathed a huge collective sigh of relief following the Emperor’s decisive action.
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