New Los Angeles, CA - The Department of Imperial Resource Technology (DIRT; formerly the Imperial Environmental Protection Agency) reported today that the amount of land lost to rising oceans has declined this month to just 1,200 square miles, down from last month’s 1,400 square miles. Overall, in the last decade, only 250,000 square miles of coastline have been submerged under rising seas. And fortunately, most of that lost land is not within the Walls of Safety, but in the barbarian hinterlands.
Thanks to advanced research by Imperial scientists, it is now clear that the rising oceans are due to the efforts of the evil African-Arabian-Australian-Canadian-Chinese- European-Indian-Mexican-Russian-South American Union (AAACCEIMRSAU) to cause global cooling. Although counterintuitive, reducing the atmospheric temperature, as AAACCEIMRSAU has attempted to do, actually raises sea levels. The precise mechanism that causes sea levels to rise it too complex to describe here, but rest assured, Imperial scientists are telling the truth.
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