Abortion Becomes A Hate Crime, Finally

New Nashville, TN - Emperor Bush VI issued a fiat today making abortion a hate crime, subject to harsher penalties than before.

Although abortions were already illegal, too many victims of sexual assault and incest, and too many teenage mothers were violating the law to abort their unwanted children. It is hoped that the stiffer penalties associated with the elevation of abortion to hate crime status will make these unappreciative mothers think twice.

Proponents of making abortion a hate crime argued that since some of the would-be mothers “hated” the acts that lead to their pregnancy, that made their subsequent abortion a hate crime.

The Vatican, the only government body recognized as legitimate by the Empire, indicated its approval of the new law, although it stopped short of offering financial assistance to help care for the unwanted children. The remarkably durable Pope John Paul II, speaking from within his germ-free Plexiglas bubble, said, “Every soul belongs to God and must be revered.”

Emperor Bush VI, eloquently echoing the Pope’s message, said, “Every god belongs to one soul and must not be irreverent.”

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